Death by Recliner?

I don’t want to cause a panic or anything, but I believe that recliner chairs are a major cause of death in the United States.  I have no statistical proof (more on that later) but anecdotal evidence has led me to this conclusion.  A little over a year ago my mother-in-law passed away.  We found her in her recliner, holding her rosary.

Just last week my wife ran into a friend from the same town in Illinois where her mother had lived.  This lady’s father recently passed away (you guessed it) in his recliner chair.  This got me thinking.  Some years ago a friend suffered the same fate.  La-Z-Boys may be hazardous to your health!

Before I’m accused of spreading panic, I’m going to go to the US Government and request a grant of $3 million to study this phenomenon.  Why $3 million?  I’m afraid if I ask for less they won’t take me seriously and if I ask for more they might turn me down as half of our elected employees in Washington are trying to reduce government spending.  But This amount of money is chump change in Washington.  Besides, I want to stay under the recliner chair lobby’s radar.  $3 million seems like the perfect amount.

Like I said, I think my research is going to lead to the discovery that these so-called pieces of furniture are actually death traps that should be outlawed, or at least should be required to come with seat belts and front and side air bags.  This may add a couple of hundred dollars to the cost of a Barcalounger, but isn’t safety our highest priority?

[Note that this piece is filed under the category “humor”.  Please, no angry emails.]

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3 Responses

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