Be Not Afraid

Signs, signs, everywhere signs.  It’s always been my experience that God speaks to me in subtle ways.  I know people who have been spoken to clearly, but for me, not so much.  When I was in formation for the diaconate some of my classmates were told, in no uncertain terms, that they had been chosen to serve the Church as permanent deacons.  My calling came in a series of small hints that, when added up, pointed me in that direction,

Thomas Merton wrote in “No Man is an Island”, (paraphrasing because I don’t have the book in front of me) that God never gives us the whole answer to anything because, if He did, we’d have no choice but to do as He said.  He only gives us parts of an answer which aren’t quite equal to the whole.  We have to fill in the blanks.  That’s called “free will.”

In fact, I first read the book when I was discerning my vocation.  Ironically, Merton’s words filled in the blanks for me and confirmed that I was on the right path.

So, you can imagine my surprise when He spoke to me very plainly and directly in a dream the other night.  I’ve been wrestling with some personal issues for the last few weeks.  That’s part of the reason why I’ve been absent from DeaconCast recently.

Anyway, I woke up the other morning after a very vivid dream where Jesus spoke to me and said, “Be not afraid.” It was crystal clear, as if He had been in the room with me.  “Be not afraid.”

Skeptics might say that it was just a dream; my subconscious mind telling me what my conscious mind needed to hear.  But after a series of less-direct messages over the last several days, this was Jesus speaking to me.  And, in spite of Merton’s words to the contrary, I liked it.  Any time He wants to hit me upside the head and tell me what to do, I’m all ears.

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